I just ate a heaping mound of steamed broccoli with cheese sauce and the size of one of said broccoli was reminiscent of Placido Polanco’s huge dome. It was then I realized I still hadn’t done my WAR predictions for the line-up yet. So lets have at it, shall we?

Shortstop: Jimmy Rollins

Avg WAR Over Past 3 Seasons: 4.8 WAR

2010 WAR Prediction: 4.9 WAR

Reasoning: Jimmy isn’t as good as his 2007 6.7 WAR, but he also isn’t as bad as his 2009 2.4 WAR. As most know, Jimmy wasn’t terribly lucky in ’09 as you can tell when you look at his BABIP which was only .251 last year. If you wanna compare that to someone who was extremely lucky you can look at David Wright’s BABIP last year which was friggin’ .394 that lucky prick. Look for Rollins to have his BABIP rise up around .290ish and as a result see a jump in his batting average.

Third Base: Placido Polanco

Avg WAR Over Past 3 Seasons(2B): 3.8 WAR

2010 WAR Prediction: 3.2 WAR

Reasoning: First of all I think we must all LOL at whoever did this photoshop masterpiece. It wasn’t myself, but I wish it was. Anyway, Polanco will be at a new position this year, kind of, as he moves to third base for the Phillies. Polanco and his giant dome have manned third base before and I think he’ll be fine. CHONE projects Polly at a 3 WAR and I mostly agree but I think he’ll be slightly better than that as I think CHONE are being bearish on him because of the defense.

Second Base: Chase Utley

Avg WAR Over Past 3 Seasons: 7.9 WAR

2010 WAR Prediction: 8.3 WAR

Reasoning: Chase is a god damn beast. He continues to be the best second baseman in the game and I think, being a year removed from hip surgery, Utley is in for his best year yet. I can see Utley putting up a triple slash of .322/.415/.573 and race Halladay all year long for the highest WAR on the team.

First Base: Ryan Howard

Avg WAR Over Past 3 Seasons: 4.2 WAR

2010 WAR Prediction: 4.8 WAR

Reasoning: Howard had his best year since ’06 last year putting up a 4.8 WAR. I think Ryan will stick around the same area, maybe pushing 5 WAR but not likely. So far this spring Howard has been taking an opposite field approach and is batting slightly over .350 right now. If Howard can take that into the regular season and up his batting average while losing a couple home runs I think most Phillies fans would take that.

Right Field: Jayson Werth

Avg WAR Over Past 3 Seasons: 4.5 WAR

2010 WAR Prediction: 5.0 WAR

Reasoning: Werth had a career year last year and I expect him to have an even better year this year. This unfortunately will probably hurt the Phillies from resigning him and most Phillies fans are going to be rather upset if he walks after this year without a serious attempt at resigning him. Look for Werth to still hit 35ish bombs this year but I also think he will up his batting average and maybe add a few more steals all while playing solid above average defense.

Left Field: Raul Ibanez

Avg WAR Over Past 3 Seasons: 2.5 WAR

2010 WAR Prediction: 2.9 WAR

Reasoning: This is a tough one. Raul had his best year evarrr last year and coming off of surgery likely won’t help him repeat that. His average WAR over the past three seasons is as low as it is thanks to a 0.9 WAR in ’07 so I don’t think he will be as bad as that average. He isn’t going to be as good as he was last year unfortunately but I still see him being a decent left fielder and I pray he can repeat his +8.0 UZR from last year.

Center Field: Shane Victorino

Avg WAR Over Past 3 Seasons: 3.5 WAR

2010 WAR Prediction: 4.0 WAR

Reasoning: Vic had a down year defensively, even though he won a gold glove, posting a -4.1 UZR. I don’t really know how much a better defensive year will swing his WAR but I think he will be up closer to a 4 WAR because he will be hitting in the 7 hole and likely will hit for more power. By more power I mean around 15-17 homers, nothing too crazy but still pretty solid.

Catcher: Chooch

Avg WAR Over Past 3 Seasons: 1.4 WAR

2010 WAR Prediction: 2.4 WAR

Reasoning: Chooch had a good year last year, posting a 2.2 WAR, and I think we can expect him to put up something similar but with a higher batting average. Chooch’s strong point is his game calling and defense but we don’t need much offense from Chooch considering how strong we are 1-7 in the line-up. Chooch will be Chooch and we will love him for it.

Thus concludes my WAR prediction series, it will be funny to come back at the end of the year and see how wrong I was.

See what I did there?

Did you guys know that this Jason Worth character grew a beard this off-season? Also his hair is kind of long, too. As a matter of fact, he closely resembles Jeff Bridges from that one movie he was in!

We all know Werf hasn’t been very forthright with information about his choice of coiffure; preferring just to let his mane speak for itself (which it has, at length.) My good pal Dave Brown was ballsy enough to ask Jayson if he could touch it, just to prove that it was real. Spoiler alert: hell no.

But just how far has Beard Mania™ gone? Well, pretty gosh darn far. Far enough that the bigwigs at the venerable Topps Trading Card Company have taken notice and may consider preserving the legacy that is Jayson Werth’s Beard in a very, shall we say, personal manner. Check out how after the jump.

Topps kicks a whole lot of ass right now. Their exclusivity agreement with MLB has raised the hackles of a few members of the baseball card collecting community (Yeah, they’re still out there,) but the fact that Topps has churned out some seriously awesome sets over the past few years and seriously endeared them to me. Sure, the 2010 Series 1 cards might be some of the most beautiful card designs I’ve seen in a decade but their other, lesser known sets like National Chicle, Topps Heritage, and Allen and Ginter throw back to years gone by while expanding on exactly what is a baseball card.

In case you thought I was kidding...

After the trading card market collapsed, card manufacturers turned to insert cards to incite collectors into ripping more and more wax. Inserts have evolved from simple “gold cards” to elaborate gimmicks such as cards printed on silk, cuts of game used merchandise, or the actual printing plates used to make the card. In the 2009 Allen and Ginter set, which is known for featuring not only ballplayers but historical figures, athletes from other sports, and animals,  Topps went one step further and included honest to God DNA on an incredibly limited number of cards. I remember freaking out when I pulled a gold foil Mike Lieberthal card in elementary school. I’m not sure how I would have felt then if I pulled the Napoleon Bonaparte Hair Sample Relic.

I tell you all that so I can tell you this:

I contacted Topps through Twitter to see if they had any plans on featuring our favorite facial hair in their updated set of cards that comes out halfway through the season. Turns out, thanks to your pal Redmund and Topps, you may soon be able to own a part of the most important beard in the history of Southeastern Pennsylvania:

My original tweet, a response to a question about preseason baseball:

Topps’ first  response:

Me again, not being able to let go of a joke until it’s beaten to death:

Finally, Topps:

BONUS NON-BEARD COVERAGE:

In addition to baseball, I have a bit of an obsession with sunglasses. I blame it on the fact that I have some crazy weird degenerative eye disease, but my girlfriend blames it on me being a huge homosexual. Either way, Not long after I tweeted the above pic of Werf commenting about how much I liked his shades when a rep from the company responded to let me know the make and model. Turns out Jayson’s rocking Kaenon Hard Kores in a custom white and red colorway. Unfortunately, and I truly may be the only one who cares about this, Kaenon doesn’t actually sell the white frames. Just a heads up, guys: put these out at retail in the Delaware Valley and you won’t be able to keep them on the shelves. We’re all a bit weird like that.

Oh, and if you want to toss me a pair of Hard Kore Large for introducing your brand to literally dozens of new customers, I’d be totally cool with that. You too, Topps.