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By Danger Guerrero [Scene: In the kitchen of Freddy Galvis’s house. The freshman’s parents have gone away for the weekend, and he has decided to throw a party. Things are quickly getting out of hand.]   Freddy Galvis: [ grabbing a vase out of an anonymous partier’s hands ] No no, poot de base down.

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Phillies High: Freddy Throws A Party

HAHAHAHA dude it’s the best when the Phillies win, and last night was number five in a row. It’s even better when Roy Halladay’s on the hill straight mowing dorks down like my neighbor’s kid (who I offered a beer to the other day upon his cuttering my grass only to have him be all, “I’m only 16″ and then I was all, “Ayden, that was a test- and you just failed”). AP Photo, taken with melt-proof lens “But ZWR I know it’s SRHPY and you’re extra unfocused on Fridays as it is but the topic du jour is Chooch so before you get any further maybe tell us how #VOTEFORCHOOCH did we didn’t watch the game or read about it before coming to the bolg so basically you’re our source on the matter!” Oh, you know Chooch went 4-5 with 3 RBI.

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So Roy Halladay Pitched Yesterday (5.17.12 v the Cubs (incl. FACE-BREAKING Photoshop))

Yeah, I don’t really know either. But I just made it and I think it’s pretty spectacular.

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Matt Garza Blows Up Earth (.gif)

One of the most bizarre decisions in professional sports was approved by the owners of Major League Baseball today. The lower seeded teams in the League Division Series in both leagues will get to host games one and two this October, with the higher seeded teams getting to host the final three games if needed.

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MLB owners vote in favor of LDS changes

One thing is for sure, Jonathan Papelbon is never lacking in the self-confidence department. Yes, he has the closer mentality we speak about all the time.

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Papelbon: I don’t feel bad about leaving Boston

ZWR sources in Chicago spotted the following and dutifully captured it with their kameras for submittal to the bolg. Donkey Nation + Roy- I’m the man who loves you! You rule (pot kettle black). No worries, they were able to quickly move on to their reservations, and weren’t impelled to watch HLHIII’s entire work-out, which surely would have left them scrounging for some after-hours dive in the poor places (last night). Jesus, etc.

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Spotted–No Rest for the Weary

Seriously donkeyface, have you voted for Chooch yet? All he did last night was hit a game-winning bomb and score eleventeen runs and get on base constantly and guide KYLE RODNEY KENDRICK (the real fifth starter don’t even hate) to a startling three hit performance. Yeah, that’s right- stare in amazement at THE CHOOCH. Getty Images Think on that- offensive hero, team leader, and shepherd of the Kendrick – Contreras victory flock

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As Last Night Reminded Us: #VOTEFORCHOOCH

Today is the anniversary of one of the all-time games in Phillies history, the 23-22 10-inning game in Wrigley Field . The Phillies got off to a fast start by scoring seven runs in the top of the first inning, only to give up six runs in the bottom of the inning. And we were off.

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This day in Phillies history, Phillies and Cubs slugfest and pitcher’s duel

Hector Luna’s grand slam in the ninth inning put the cherry on top of a fine evening for the Phillies in Chicago. Photo: Getty Images  I tweeted toward the end of the Phillies 9-2 victory in Wrigley Field last night that this was the kind of win where we would wake up the next morning and wonder aloud if the Phillies got their swagger back. For the first time all season the Phillies have won four consecutive games, thanks to a more than adequate performance by the much-maligned Kyle Kendrick on the mound, even in the face of adversity.

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Out of the Batter’s Box [5.17.2012] – Hector Luna grand slam gives Phillies some swagger

A toast to George Brett, who celebrates his 58th birthday today. Here he is enjoying  a beverage with Mike Schmidt for a Sports Illustrated photo.  Placido Polanco’s first home run of the season sure was a memorable one. Polanco’s two-run homer to left center field last night in the eighth inning of a damp game against the Houston Astros pushed the Phillies lead to 5-1 , taking the game out of a save situation and making victory just a little more certain for a team that has struggled to close games out.

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Out of the Batter’s Box [5.15.2012] – A toast to Placido Polanco’s 2,000th hit