Archive for September, 2010

Beast

Jayson Werth is leaving the Phillies at the end of the year. Everything points to it: Scott Boras requesting a Matt Holliday type deal, uber prospect Domonic Brown, Ruben’s idiotic extensions, etc. At least Jayson’s trying to leave us with a nice parting gift; another World Series ring.

Let’s face it, Jayson Werth is an absolute man when he wants to be. He’s currently riding a modest 6 game hitting streak (where he’s batting .416 with 5 homers), but even more impressive are his numbers over this 8 game winning streak. Over that 8 game stretch, he’s the proud owner of a brand new car .375/.500/.750 split line, with 5 home runs and 10 RBI. Let’s not forget how beastly he is in the playoffs, to the tune of a .285/.393/.650 split.

So Jayson, farewell, so long, and please keep this the hell up through the postseason. One more ring, and your sins of hiring Scott Boras are (almost) absolved.

Um… yeah. Halloween came a little early this year.

"So anyway, in my dream, Heyward's balls were *this* big. I could hardly get one of them in my mouth!"

As reported by Fox Sports this morning, Braves president and former GM John Schuerholz needs the wahhhmbulance to take him to the hospital for emergency vaginal sand extraction (on the way home, he would like a wahburger and some french cries):

“When they built that damn ballpark, we didn’t have a prayer. They started printing money and hitting shorter home runs,’’ Atlanta president John Schuerholz on the emergence of the Phillies as an NL East power coinciding with the team’s move into Citizens Bank Park.

For the million billion hojillionth time: Citizens Bank Park is not slanted heavily in favor of hitters. Yes, the short porch in left leads to a few balls leaving the yard that wouldn’t in a lot of other stadiums, but the dimensions aren’t markedly different from most major league ballparks. It’s consistently been around the middle of the pack in park factors for the last several seasons, with the exception of homers, which are slightly above average. It’s nowhere near the launching pad/homer haven/Little League field/other dumb, stupid, wrong term butthurt opponents love to use that it gets the rap for.

Never mind the incontrovertible truth that all these crybabies choose to ignore: The other team gets to hit there, too, and nothing changes. The fences don’t move back 20 feet or morph into the Green Monster when the opposing team comes to bat. As far as excuses for getting your collective taint handed to you, as opponents so often do by the Phillies, are concerned, that’s a pretty lousy one.

You’ve got to love Schuerholz being on the rag before this series even starts. Imagine how chapped his ass will be on Wednesday, when the Phillies send the Bravos home to their half-empty stadium with tails between their legs and an insurmountable six-game deficit. Even better was Charlie Manuel’s short, sweet response when someone told him about Schuerholz’s bitch fit: “Champions can hit anywhere.” It’s hard to remember when he’s bringing J.C. Romero into crucial situations, but this man is awesome.

At least ol’ John Boy can take solace in bringing this prestigious award out of retirement. What a douche.

Tres senoritas, por favor

Last night, Roy Oswalt was asked how many women he could pleasure at the same time.  Take that Tony Bruno.

Oswalt still trails Roy Halladay in his sexual prowess.  There are an infinite amount of women (and men) Halladay can pleasure at the same time.

So, here we are.

It’s September 14. Since a four-game losing streak left them seven games behind Atlanta on July 21, the Phillies are a face-breaking 36-15. Only the Twins (35-13) have been better in that span. With all the injuries and inconsistency and subpar years and bad contracts and constant hand-wringing, this team has the best record in the National League, and is on pace for 94 wins, which would be their highest total since 1993 and tied for fourth-most in franchise history.

This speaks volumes to the depth and resiliency of this group. After enjoying a run of near-perfect health in our last two pennant-winning seasons, the 2010 model has rarely been fully functional. Not many teams could weather replacing one of the best players in baseball with Wilson Valdez for two months, especially when every other infielder also missed significant time.

It also says a lot about how far the franchise has come in a few short years. Go back four or five years, and we as fans would have been thrilled with the kind of talent the Phillies currently employ, and simply making the playoffs, to say nothing of winning a postseason series or five. As annoying as it is sometimes to hear people complain about “only” being fourth in the NL in runs or having a fifth starter with an ERA around five, that represents progress. We have become accustomed to excellence, and we will not and should not accept anything less.

This has been a strange season. The Phillies dominated early before injuries and a prolonged offensive slump had them treading the waters of mediocrity and occupying a position everyone remembered, but nobody missed: Staring up at the Braves. Yet again, the second half has been our time to shine, but the wins have come more often from stellar pitching than offensive fireworks. Personally, I don’t care how we win as long as we win.

Our lead in the East is only a game, and with four other teams nipping at our heels, an ill-timed skid could still put us out in the cold come October. That’s a mathematical possibility that has to be recognized. But it ain’t gonna happen. You know it. I know it. Fans of other teams know it, even if they’re still trying to convince themselves otherwise. The East, and the National League, are ours to lose, and we aren’t going to lose them. In fact – as the title of this post might have hinted at – I see plenty of reasons to believe that this team will bring home its second championship in three years. Read the rest of this entry »

One of our favorite things to piss and moan about as Phils fans is the one and only, Bradley Heart Attack Thomas Lidge.  But has he really been that terrible this year, looking at the stats?  He has a more than decent 3.38 ERA paired with a 10.85 K/9.  5 blown saves are forgivable, considering the absolute shitfest he threw out last year.

Between all relievers, he’s 17th in the league in K/9 and statistically has the 6th best slider in the league.  Snice August 1st, he’s converted 11 of 12 save opportunities, while allowing only one earned run and striking out 18 batters in 16.1 innings.  That’s the good part.

His fastball is beyond mediocre, and he’s still blown 5 saves (which is still better than that rat bastard Billy Wagner).

This is a throwaway post, but just one to show that Lidge really isn’t that terrible.

Is this the end of the Utley we know and love?

Following up on an interesting article published a week ago by The Good Phight (http://www.thegoodphight.com/2010/9/2/1665092/as-chase-utley-goes), it made me ponder some of Utley’s ups and downs this past year. While some can be blamed on his injuries, he’s mysteriously taken a strikingly different approach at the plate this year, that’s limited his offensive production. His OBP is around his career average, but his slugging has dropped nearly 70 points from last year, wOBA is almost 40 points below his prime years, and his ISO is down 60 points from last year.

Is this the decline in Chase that we’ve been unfortunately expecting with his age/injury history? Or is it simply injuries taking their toll this year, with a bounceback 2011? Let’s look at the stats, shall we?

Read the rest of this entry »

This.

Thanks to the Braves and their “golden boy” Tim Hudson shitting the bed against the Buccos, the Phillies finally have taken back first place. Timmay and his .247 BABIP couldn’t have picked a better time to come back to earth.

I guess the Phillies knowing a thing or two about winning in September doesn’t hurt either.

Have fun at home, Bravos.